Old faces, new friends

I’ve recently come across a few articles discussing how friendships seem to become harder to maintain in your 30s, and honestly, I’ve found that to be true for me. Outside of family (who are some of my best friends), I have two close girlfriends. And I’m perfectly content with that. We’ve been friends since we were 11, and I truly cherish these deep, meaningful connections over having a wide circle of more distant friends. We’ve experienced so many stages of life together, and our shared history makes it feel like no new friendships could quite compare.

At this point in my life, I’ve realized I need to really want to spend time with someone. It requires a conscious effort to nurture those relationships, and honestly, I don’t have the time or energy to do that for more than a couple of people.

A few months ago, I got back in touch with someone I used to know in high school. You know, those friends you get along with, sit next to in class, laugh with, but never quite run in the same circle? More like adjacent circles. You’d dance together at a party but wouldn’t be getting ready with them. You’d gossip in class but wouldn’t share your deepest secrets.

We had some work in common, and I thought, maybe this could be the start of something. So, I reached out to see if she wanted to meet up. The idea of trying to make new friends in my 30s is honestly a bit terrifying. But at the same time, I also realize that while old friendships may change or fade away altogether as your paths diverge, there’s a chance for new, enriching connections. In your 30s, you can meet people who have different perspectives, interests, and opinions, youre no longer confined by the apparant social rules of high school that you can only be friends if you agree on everything.

So, I braved the nerves and met up for lunch. And I felt nervous! And then weird for feeling nervous. I am 32 years old and yet a part of me reverted to my high school self, when we had last spoken - I fretted about what to wear, I worried about being cool enough or good enough somehow.

I'll admit I did spent the tube ride thinking of potential conversation starters in case things went south. I thought it felt a bit like going on a first date and then remembered how long it was since i actually did that and worried i would be no good at it.

But once we sat down and started chatting, everything fell into place. We reminisced about old times, talked about our new lives, our careers, and kids. And you know what? I think this could actually turn into a real friendship, not just a one-time catch-up. Now, I just have to reach out for that "second date."